A Dream Most Strange

I've been plagued by many worries over the last few months, all related to an imminent and permanent move to Germany. Yes, emigration; joining the hordes of professionals who have lost faith in Turkey. Which also means, amongst other things, that my photography and darkroom is in a state of limbo. It's a moment where I wish my whole archive was in a small hard drive, instead of in boxes filling up a room. Maybe this dream I recently had, is connected to my plight:

I'm looking through my Leica rangefinder and focusing on the right eye of the fellow in front of me. He has short hair, a receding hairline, a stubble. He is charming. I'm very very close, right up to his face. In the viewfinder I'm aligning his pupil with its double-image. Surprisingly, there is a camel right behind him, sticking its head into my frame. It will be a wonderful double portrait. I click the shutter. Then I want to make another exposure from a slightly different angle. As I wind on the film, halfway through it gets rough and ratchety and I think "shit, that's not good". But I pull through and make another exposure; after which I can't wind the film at all. Next thing, it's twilight and I'm walking down a slope in a wooden landscape, camera in hand, wondering what to do about it. I wrangle with the horrific idea that I might have to give up on the film, that most likely it is ruined. Eventually I resign, open the camera and start pulling the film out. It looks like this:

Almost as good as a Dürer.

Half of it is like 8mm film. That part is completely black and with torn perforations from the winding. But then, mid-roll the film switches to medium format, with each frame offset like in the drawing above! And these MF frames are developed! They are the most beautiful MF negs I have ever seen, with gorgeous highlights and shadows. I clearly remember one frame: a lit-up chandelier is suspended above a table. The detail in the bulbs is breathtaking. On the table sits a man with longish fluffy hair. He looks remarkably similar to the chess player Hans Niemann, who was recently involved in an ugly stir in the chess world. I look at the negs in awe for a long time...and woke up.

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This is in the main train station in Istanbul. The lady seemed to be sleeping the sweetest of sleeps. Without the door, and without the Leica M6, I probably wouldn't have made the picture. But with the door and the reflections in the windowpanes, and hoping that the Leica would minimize any disturbance, I couldn't resist. Speaking of how quiet the Leica actually is, I once photographed a guy tanning himself on the beach from at least 50 meters. He turned around and looked at me. He had heard the click! 

The print is on 24x30cm Ilford MG Classic and the 35mm neg is Kodak Tmax400. Lovely film - I used it for many years - but now out of my budget.

The Fall of Icarus

 

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Diptych on 24x30cm Ilford MG Warmtone FB Semi-Matt paper.

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As fascinating as the story of Icarus is, I love how Brueghel the Elder depicted it in this painting, and how W.H. Auden interpreted the painting in this poem.

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Well, here we are, at the end of yet another year. Apparently, film photography is still making its comeback. And yesterday Pentax thrilled many with their announcement that they were considering making new film cameras.  All good news, but I wonder how sustainable film and paper production is, with the ever-increasing prices and our plummeting purchasing power. I also wonder how healthy darkroom printing is. Generation Z seems to enjoy film photography, but if they only scan it to upload to social media, they are missing out big time IMO. 

So, that was 2022. If you've taken the time to write comments, thank you, I appreciate it! Reading your thoughts and exchanging ideas is an important motivation in writing a blog.

Cheers!